To be honest, Forgiving doesn’t come easily for me. It should of course and sometimes it’s easy but most times it just doesn’t. I have to consciously remember and get myself to a place where I can forgive and let go.
I was praying one day and one of the prayer points involved forgiving those that had hurt us and mentioning their names and forgiving them. At first it seemed like they couldn’t be plenty, My people! I started mentioning names. I was surprised at how I suddenly remembered little things. Things I had forgotten or thought I had forgiven. Some of those people were people I loved a lot but the exercise made me realize I still held a tiny grudge against them.
This got me thinking on why forgiveness can be difficult even though we know is non negotiable for us as Christians. It is specified in the Lords prayer that we forgive those who trespass against us.
I think the word trespass is especially trite. After all what else do we call the numerous seemingly unforgivable stuff people may have done to us. This may include stuff like cheating on us, lying about us, backbiting, gossiping about us, stealing from us, or physical stuff like verbal abuse, slaps, beatings or setting us up, rape or sexual abuse. Even if it’s not major stuff like this, the seemingly little things can hurt us so much that we think OK! I am a Christian, I ought to forget, I ought to forgive but somehow you just cant. I believe the keys below can help us.
How to forgive more easily
We need to walk in the spirit.
The more we walk in the spirit, the more easily we forgive. We find it difficult to forget and forgive because of our human nature. Forgiveness is anathema to that flesh and blood in us. Our heart holds on to stuff when it shouldn’t because it can’t fathom how to let someone go scotfree. The thing is, God doesn’t have such an unforgiving heart. If he did, we would be in trouble. Yes! All of us. Because we would not be able to come into his presence because our sins, our uncleanliness would stand against us.
Tell it to Jesus
Talking to Jesus in prayer is an awesome way to let things out and strip unforgiveness of it’s power. Some of have stuff we have never told a soul. It’s a good idea to talk to God, have a chat with him, tell him why it’s hard to forgive and ask for his help in letting g go of that hurt, anger, bitterness.
Facing and processing what happened with courage
Sometimes we hold on to stuff inside our hearts because it’s easier to just leave it in instead of forgiving and moving on. The thing is leaving that grudge and bitterness without dealing with it does us more harm than good. It just continues to fester and rot inside us and turn to poison. Take a moment, go back to that bitter event, that sad occurrence no matter how hard it may be. After a while that thing, person or event starts to gradually lose it power.
Ask for a heart after God.
We have to pray for a heart like God. A heart of love, a heart that doesn’t hold on to wrongs. Our human heart can’t do this. Our human heart bristles when we remember that hurt that that person caused us. But I think that if we ask for and pray for a godly heart that doesn’t hold on to wrongs, that forgets our past, then we would overcome and be able to let go.
Stuff wouldn’t have any meaning to us because it doesn’t stay in out hearts. We would be able to forget. I tell you, inability to forget is one of the greatest aids to unforgiveness. You think oh! I have forgiven that person but you realize something is wrong when you remember that event and hurt and resentment still strikes in your heart.
Having a heart like a child’s.
Jesus was right to say we need to be like little children.
I tell you, no one can forgive quite like them. There’s just one reason for this, their hearts and minds don’t hold on to the past, or act on it. They forget. We have to pray for the ability to forget and ask God to wipe our memories of who and what has hurt us, cheated on us, trampled on our rights and caused us grief.
I know it’s not easy. Which is why I am sharing this as the Holy Spirit ministered to me. And it’s something I am also working on too. I don’t hesitate to say some things aren’t easy to overcome because this is what is killing some of us. Everyone one says forgive, and sure it’s easy for some. But the truth is it isn’t easy for some of us. And that’s the reason for this post.
Praying for a forgiving heart is another cool way to forgive more.
God created our hearts so he can definitely change it if we pray and talk to him about how we are finding it difficult to let go.
What else can you add guys. How easy is it for you to forgive? Do you forgive easily? Is it hard?
Ehn ehn while we are at it, do forgive me for my sporadic posts ?. It’s not intentional I promise, you know I love you guys. Once I sort out the stuff on ground, I will be able to have a schedule.