How to forgive more easily 

Forgive

To be honest, Forgiving doesn’t come easily for me. It should of course and sometimes it’s easy but most times it just doesn’t. I have to consciously remember and get myself to a place where I can forgive and let go.

I was praying one day and one of the prayer points involved forgiving those that had hurt us and mentioning their names and forgiving them. At first it seemed like they couldn’t be plenty, My people! I started mentioning names. I was surprised at how I suddenly remembered little things. Things I had forgotten or thought I had forgiven. Some of those people were people I loved a lot but the exercise made me realize I still held a tiny grudge against them.

This got me thinking on why forgiveness can be difficult even though we know is non negotiable for us as Christians. It is specified in the Lords prayer that we forgive those who trespass against us.

I think the word trespass is especially trite. After all what else do we call the numerous seemingly unforgivable stuff people may have done to us. This may include stuff like cheating on us, lying about us, backbiting, gossiping about us, stealing from us, or physical stuff like verbal abuse, slaps, beatings or setting us up, rape or sexual abuse. Even if it’s not major stuff like this, the seemingly little things can hurt us so much that we  think OK! I am a Christian, I ought to forget, I ought to forgive but somehow you just cant. I believe the keys below can help us.

Forgive

How to forgive more easily

We need to walk in the spirit. 

The more we walk in the spirit, the more easily we forgive. We find it difficult to forget and forgive because of our human nature. Forgiveness is anathema to that flesh and blood in us. Our heart holds on to stuff when it shouldn’t because it can’t fathom how to let someone go scotfree. The thing is, God doesn’t have such an unforgiving heart. If he did, we would be in trouble. Yes! All of us. Because we would not be able to come into his presence because our sins, our uncleanliness would stand against us.

Tell it to Jesus 

Talking to Jesus in prayer is an awesome way to let things out and strip unforgiveness of it’s power. Some of have stuff we have never told a soul. It’s a good idea to talk to God, have a chat with him, tell him why it’s hard to forgive and ask for his help in letting g go of that hurt, anger, bitterness. 

Facing and processing what happened with courage 

Sometimes we hold on to stuff inside our hearts because it’s easier to just leave it in instead of forgiving and moving on. The thing is leaving that grudge and bitterness without dealing with it  does us more harm than good. It just continues to fester and rot inside us and turn to poison. Take a moment, go back to that bitter event, that sad occurrence no matter how hard it may be. After a while that thing, person or event starts to gradually lose it power.

Ask for a heart after God. 

We have to pray for a heart like God. A heart of love, a heart that doesn’t hold on to wrongs. Our human heart can’t do this. Our human heart bristles when we remember that hurt that that person caused us. But I think that if we ask for and pray for a godly heart that doesn’t hold on to wrongs, that forgets our past, then we would overcome and be able to let go.

Stuff wouldn’t have any meaning to us because it doesn’t stay in out hearts. We would be able to forget. I tell you, inability to forget is one of the greatest aids to unforgiveness. You think oh! I have forgiven that person but you realize something is wrong when you remember that event and hurt and resentment still strikes in your heart.

Having a heart like a child’s.

Jesus was right to say we need to be like little children.

 

I tell you, no one can forgive quite like them. There’s just one reason for this, their hearts and minds don’t hold on to the past, or act on it. They forget. We have to pray for the ability to forget and ask God to wipe our memories of who and what has hurt us, cheated on us, trampled on our rights and caused us grief.

I know it’s not easy. Which is why I am sharing this as the Holy Spirit ministered to me. And it’s something I am also working on too. I don’t hesitate to say some things aren’t easy to overcome because this is what is killing some of us. Everyone one says forgive, and sure it’s easy for some. But the truth is it isn’t easy for some of us. And that’s the reason for this post.

Praying for a forgiving heart is another cool way to forgive more. 

God created our hearts so he can definitely change it if we pray and talk to him about how we are finding it difficult to let go.

What else can you add guys. How easy is it for you to forgive? Do you forgive easily? Is it hard?

Ehn ehn while we are at it, do forgive me for my sporadic posts 😄. It’s not intentional I promise, you know I love you guys. Once I sort out the stuff on  ground, I will be able to have a schedule.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    D'Dream
    September 17, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    Great Post! I’m currently battling with this right now. Naturally I am someone who forgives easily but when someone continuously trample on your feelings and treats you bad, it can get over whelming be specially when you are going through some difficult times yourself.
    There was a day someone I respect spoke so harshly to me ( I am someone very sensitive to words), I remembered crying before God as I narrate what happens. I was being real and believe me it pays when we are real with ourselves before God.
    As I prayed, I receive the strength to forgive and let go. I heard the Holy Spirit said “the person you refuse to forgive has the remote control of your emotions, don’t give power to those who don’t deserve it”.

    I will also add one thing: THE LAW OF ADVANCE FORGIVENESS. As you wake up in the morning, make up your mind to forgive any and whoever offends you in any way. It helps not to taken unaware emotionally since we have already forgive in advance.

    Apology for the long comment, lolz. I had to cut it short though.

    Have a wonderful and splendid week.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      September 20, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Yeah. I totally get it, some people try your patience and forgiveness to the uppermost limits. It really takes the grace of God.
      Thanks dear. The law of advance forgiveness is actually a good one. Nothing can get to you when you have made up your mind to forgive.

  • Reply
    Joan
    September 17, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    Hello Sista! It’s been awhile😅. Thanks for sharing the tips! Unforgiveness opens the door for so many other pains. For me I find that when I hold unto things, I end up feeling more hurt, frustrated and unproductive. So it’s even for my own good to forgive and free myself. 😊

    • Reply
      Bisola
      September 20, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      Yes oh. There’s a lot on my plate this season.
      Sure it does and it can lead to physical illness if we stubbornly hold on to wrongs. Imagine someone hurting you and then continue to do more damage by having power over you.
      The devil knows the impact of forgiving which is why he makes it so darn hard.

  • Reply
    Precious
    September 18, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    One thing that helps me forgive is remembering that if I don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive me. Reality check.
    Also, not forgiving puts me in a prison. And what if the rapture occurs while I am holding a grudge?
    God helps us to be more forgiving. Teach us to forgive even before we are hurt.
    Thanks for the reminder, Bisi.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      September 20, 2017 at 9:35 pm

      Honestly rapture or death should be the top motivation for forgiveness sef. As in it should be a no brainer because God forbid one misses it as a result of unforgiveness and grudge.
      That’s a valid prayer. One we ought not to let be far from our lips.
      Thanks for this reminder on what’s important. Heaven. Hugs.

  • Reply
    Amaka
    September 21, 2017 at 5:21 am

    Thanks for writing such an inspiring post. Telling it all to Jesus and calling out specific names help a whole lot.

    Like Precious said, we forgive others so that we can gain freedom.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      September 24, 2017 at 1:47 pm

      Thank you Amaka. I am glad you are inspired.
      Exactly. Precious is one wise lady

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