Does your Church talk or teach about sex? 

Sex

My people! I was in Church yesterday and it was marriage talk day. You see, every third Sunday is Marriage talk day in my Church and people get to ask all sorts of questions and inevitably sex almost always comes up. Of course I mean sex in the context of marriage ?.

A lot of this questions are asked anonymously but at least people are voicing out.

I have come to realize that a lot of Churches over spiritualize sex and so a lot of harm is done to Christian psyche and their homes where sex is thought of as filthy or dirty.

Sex

Ironically you would be surprised at the number of complaints and questions that married Christians have that center on sex. This shows how necessary education and openness is.

I attend a conservative Church. So it was interesting to hear words and answers talking on oral sex, breasts, caress, rubbing, pornography , frigid, vaginismus, masturbation, low and high sex urges being discussed.

Funny enough I think some of those people listening would go and wash their ears with soap if they could lol. As for me I was trying hard not to smile. Don’t judge me but when words like the above keep flying around during Sunday Morning service, in a full Church with loudspeakers it was hard. I had to watch my laughter before some people start giving me side eye like “Hmmmm!See the way Bisola  shined teeth when they started talking about some stuff”.

Sex

And therein lies the problem with sex and the Church. The pretense and hypocrisy is just crazy. At a point the interpreter was trying to be tame with interpreting the words of the pastor and the pastor remarked :

It’s like this my interpreter is too spiritual.

Lol. The pastor backtracked at this point and I don’t blame the poor man. Next thing you know some holier than thou people would go and report him to the General overseer and say he is corrupting the Church. SMH. He said as much that he wouldn’t go as far as he wanted because of hypocrites who would quite him out of context and who think shaking a woman is a sin yet their hearts were dirty with sin.

Thank God for a doctor who stepped up and went all the way when explaining . He was like “me I be layman, I no be pastor” lol. ? But at a point when things got a bit explicit he ensured that he got pastors permission to proceed.

 

On my part, I think the Church needs to talk about sex. I am happy the G. O of my Church got the leading from God for sensitization and prayers on Christian marriages and directed all the branches to follow suit. Every third Sunday is Marriage talk and the youths also listen to it in their Church.
The day I heard a woman on the pulpit answer a question on foreplay without inhibition I couldn’t believe my ears. That was unprecedented lol. I told my colleague who attends my Church what my ears heard and he didn’t believe me. . That’s how conservative my Church is. I think the time for conservativeness has passed sha.

There’s the need for Churches as a whole to step up.

Sex

Some of the worldly counselors may go about it in a vulgar manner and without decorum.
The marriage talks in my Church have been amazing in their candidness and I must confess to having learnt a lot. There’s plenty of other stuff that comes up apart from sex but for now I just want to ask if your Church talks about sex.

When and where? In open Church or special programs? What’s the reception like? Does anyone complain? Do you think the Church in general is helping the cause of Christians and sex after marriage and during marriage.

Christian Life, Life
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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Yetunde Olasiyan
    June 20, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Ok. So I know/just confirmed we attend the same church but different branches in different states.
    I tell you, it gets kind of uncomfortable given that it’s a conservative setting. But I have also learnt a lot. Its a great thing

    • Reply
      Bisola
      June 20, 2017 at 9:05 pm

      ?. Oh I realized that some months back when you commented on one of the monthly recaps. I just guessed sha and I am happy I am right.

      Yes oh! It’s gets uncomfortable sometimes but it shouldn’t. And that’s the point of this post. We are uncomfortable because we are not used to hearing stuff like that inside, and from the Church. This has to change. I am sure that it’s broadcast on sundays on purpose. If it’s done on another day or at an allotted program, so many “spiricoco” people would not attend. They would believe they didn’t need it or that it was ungodly.

      I have learnt a lot too.

  • Reply
    Precious
    July 17, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    It’s good to know that a conservative church like yours dedicates a day to marriage talk. That’s really good, Bisi!
    My church hardly talks about sex oo. We do marriage seminars and all but talking sex in detail? No. However this is really important. We need to teach both the married and unmarried about sex in the church, being guided by the Bible. Like you said if we don’t, they will eventually learn somewhere and this might be from the wrong source.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      July 18, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      Its really important indeed. And I pointed out the conservative nature of my Church to show how it’s willing to go outside of its comfort zone to educate it’s members on marriage and everything else that concerns it. sex included. I can only believe they realized that the advantages outweigh any form of prudishness they might be feeling.

  • Reply
    E
    July 28, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    The first half of this article was hilarious. I would have tried so hard to not laugh and I would have failed woefully at it lol. I haven’t heard of nor attended any sex related classes at my church so I cannot speak on that but what I was just going to say is something I read/heard a while back . It was along the lines of ” When you are confident enough in your relationship with God, you can trust in him to guide you into what is right and what is not in all things including your sex life” and this understanding is why I personally would not listen to a pastor teach me about sex because I do not know if their teaching is based entirely on spirituality, the scriptures or their own personal biases.
    To answer your question, I think the church can help enhance the sex lives of their married members by having these classes because like you said, some of these people are too spirikoko to the point where they just reject the fact that God made us to be sexual beings and sex and affection between partners is normal, healthy and beneficial and not some gross violation of purity.

  • Reply
    Bisola
    July 31, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    Your last paragraph is just everything. Sex is not abnormal or devilish, it was created by God in the context of marriage and it’s good and beneficial. It’s a physical act with a spiritual foundation and Christians especially should try to be more open minded. So many virgins and even non virgins marry and have issues because of the close mouthedness of the Church

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