What that God-fearing requirement really means


A few weeks back, I read a post and the writer added a sarcastic line about “the almighty God-fearing requirement ” women often put when listing their requirements for a man. For a moment I wanted to bristle and say “Whatddyamean?” Lol but it occurred to me that he was right.

Let me tell you why I thought he was right. It has become quite popular for both sexes to add “God-fearing” when asked about what we want in our significant others but I wonder if some of us really mean to say “Goes to Church ” instead of God-fearing. See! God-fearing entails a whole lot more than goes to Church, believes that God exists and is a Christian.

God-fearing means fears and obeys God. Fear in this context is healthy fear, awe and reverence of God. What this means that a God-fearing person puts God first and fears him before any human. Even you. Meaning that whatever you want or prefer pales in comparison to and will never overshadow God’s commandments. No matter how much they love you or claim to love you it’s still God first.

Some years back, I would have also listed God-fearing as one of my requirements without actually wanting a God-fearing person per se. If he had appeared then, I would probably have chased him away sef. Lol. Let’s just say any guy who genuinely feared God, obeyed him and took God seriously would have been a bit suspicious to me. Lol.

For my mind a few guys were God-fearing because they wore the “Christian toga” well and they went to Church. As a church goer and Christian in name only then that was my idea of God-fearing. It didn’t occur to me to ponder paradox between the sort of life these guys lived and their Christian claim. Mind you this doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love them or that they didn’t love God their way oh, this is just me pondering the meaning of God-fearing and wondering how many of us will really want a God-fearing spouse if they suddenly appeared.

Dictionary.com defines God-fearing as deeply respectful or fearful of God and goes further to define it as deeply religious, pious and devout.

According to American Dictionary of the English Language by Noah Webster, (1828)

“In good men, the fear of God is a holy awe or reverence of God and his laws, which springs from a just view and real love of the divine character, leading the subjects of it to hate and shun everything that can offend such a holy being, and inclining them to aim at perfect obedience. ”

What this all means is that a God-fearing lady or guy loves, revers, fears him, obeys his commandments and shuns that which contravenes his word.


This all sounds very good and desirable yeah, but ironically very few people who claim to claim to want God-fearing spouses appreciate them when they find them. The lady or guy who refuses to have premarital sex may be insulted by the same person who listed “God-fearing”, the lady who doesn’t want to watch porn or send nudes is labeled boring by the man who wants sex and God-fearing in one package, the man who never misses Church and hands out flyers may be thought boring by the same people who are looking for God-fearing spouses.

So for me a God-fearing person loves, and fears God and obeys his commandments. He or she is aware of the consequences of disobeying God and strives not to do so. They do not trivalise the Word of God and even when they make mistakes they hasten to repent and make their way right with God. They aren’t just talkers, they actually practice what they preach. They aren’t hypocrites.

And that’s my take ? .

So let’s hear yours. Do or did you desire a God-fearing person. What exactly did/does that word mean to you. I really want to know.

This post was first posted as a guest post on naijasinglegirl.com.

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  • Reply
    June 16, 2017 at 4:47 am

    I love this! Came here to pick tips for what to look for in a God fearing partner and ended up picking tips for my own relationship with God. You really learn something new every day!

    • Reply
      June 20, 2017 at 8:20 pm

      Thanks dear. I did come across a post on what to look for in a God fearing partner while writing this. I will try to send it to you via email when I trace it.
      Interesting that you picked tips on relationship with God. That’s another way of looking at it I guess.
      Thanks E.

  • Reply
    June 18, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    you’ve said it all sister! better not to ask for what u don’t really desire.
    for me:I did, still do and it means to me exactly what it means.

    • Reply
      June 20, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      Preach it Sister.
      I like how emphatic and sure yourself and what you are.
      You summed it up. Don’t ask for what you don’t really desire indeed.
      Some people even desire it in theory but they can’t really cope with it if they get it. I feel some just casually or automatically add God-fearing as part of their requirements without even understanding the implications of what they are seeking for.
      Thanks for commenting.

  • Reply
    June 19, 2017 at 10:52 am

    You are right Bisi. Being God-fearing goes way beyond knowing that God exists and going to church. Unfortunately, most people who list this as a requirement can not handle a devout Christian. Like you said, a man who distributes flyers and is so committed in church might be considered boring by a lady hoping for a “God=fearing” man. Well said, dear.

    • Reply
      June 20, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Thanks Precious. You understood perfectly what I was getting at. It’s so bemusing to hear someone say I want a God-fearing spouse, then list another requirement that is totally ungodly. You begin to wonder what they really think God-fearing really means.

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