Finding friendship and love on social media. Does the channel really matter?

It goes without saying that people are falling in love with people they met on social media. Let me put it simply, social media is the new Cupid. Lol. Even if the initial meeting isn’t via social media, social media can facilitate the romance aspect. Have you forgotten about Banky W and Adesua so quickly. Lol? Banky W slid into her Instagram. Same with Ayo of 1plustheone.com and Mairo Ese.

The interesting thing is that some people still have a bias against what they term “Facebook love”. Somehow I have discovered that there’s still this teeny weeny discrimination when people say they met on social media.

Social media dating

It’s funny to me because social media has come a long way from what it used to be. It has changed from being something we joined reluctantly in those days to being a very viable way to connect, say, sell and promote stuff. It’s an easy way to reach a worldwide audience within minutes. Besides, social media isn’t a Facebook thing again. We have embraced other apps that help us to connect and relate with our friends and family and meet new ones.

Almost everyone has a social media account or the other. Even my parents are on Facebook while a lot of us are on tons of other apps. Therefore the more people on social media, the more the probability that you meet people more than in the olden days.

Some of our friends and parents would probably prefer to hear that you met your fiance/fiancee in the Church or at work, even in the Bus. Anywhere but social media. But if you ask me, the people on Facebook and social media are still the same people that go to church, malls, that you find at Work etc. There are still good people on social media. Everyone on social media aren’t necessarily broke, liars, fraudsters or heartbreakers.
Interestingly this bias isn’t only from those the older folks, it’s also found in people of our generation. You find that those who do meet on social media and get married rarely fess up to their original meeting point. They have to invent some acceptable story. A lot of them don’t want to be mocked for finding husband or wife on Twitter or Instagram. Somehow the Instagram slay queens and lecherous men on Facebook have managed to give a wrong impression to a lot of people.

Social media dating

However this is the 21st century. And things are changing. Avenues for meeting new people are changing. I have friends from blogs who I have never met. Does our friendship become any less valid because we didn’t meet physically. Lots of bloggers have gone on to meet and become good friends.

Love is now found in the oddest of places and even if not odd, at least via non traditional channels. Time was when you could predict how you would meet your significant other and some Christians feel the traditional “meet in church” or have a dream is the most appropriate way to meet your other half. But if you ask me, this hasn’t stopped problems in their marriages.

Now, this is not to say social media dating isn’t without its own issues especially in the Christian context but I think that having a godly foundation, with a believer, praying about them, asking God for his will, seeking counsel from your leaders and pastors, being careful of Red herrings, being watchful, making sure of compatibility are what counts more.

Of course there’s something to be said for meeting traditionally but don’t be too quick to say “it’s not God’s will” because you didn’t meet inside the Church.

The general spiritual and Common sense rules apply regardless of where you met. I.e Do they love God, Are they genuinely born again?Don’t be yoked with an unbeliever, no premarital sex etc. This are valid premises to any godly relationship regardless of how you met.

Even if we don’t want to be spiritual about it, there are still some common sense rules. You don’t meet someone on social media and get to know them on social media, you don’t conduct a relationship in the air. It’s easy to get tricked and lied to when you only talk on phone. If you meet a guy for the first time and he asks for sex or for you to visit him in his house, whether you met on Facebook or at a party he has no good intentions. He asks you for nudes, he doesn’t have good intentions, if he doesn’t pick his calls, visit you or show seriousness then he’s not serious. We still have to use our brains and not blame Facebook for everything.

Social media dating

And don’t let me get started on catfishing. You could be talking to an old man in Cambodia and think you are talking to a beautiful young lady. That’s the disadvantage of social media dating. The tendency to lie and to deceive and even harm is always there. Which is why I get the bias against social media relationships. There’s something to be said about meeting someone live and gauging if they like you or not.

As for me, I am hardly a social media person. I just find it hard for some reason. 

So let’s talk Guys! What’s your take on meeting and dating people via social media especially in the Christian context?
Is it acceptable or a total No? Would you tell people if you eventually married someone you met through social media?
Do you have friends you met through social media?
How close are you to them? Is there any difference between how you feel about them and the real life ones?
Let’s talk. You know I love gist.

Pics courtesy of Pulse.ng and pexels.com

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Amaka
    May 29, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    Not to brag about this: In my church, we have a vibrant youth fellowship. Part of what we do to prove our love is have two intending couples a weekend or two before their wedding (Friday night. We call it “Testimony Night”) to pray with them, celebrate with them and ask them some intimate questions like ‘how did you guys meet?”, “how did he propose?” “Have you guys ever kissed?” etc. It’s really been fun.

    I’ve been blessed to have anchored about four intending couples’ Testimony Night so far and guess what? Two out of four met on Facebook. They widened my perception about social media. You can find true love and friendship ONLINE.

    Like you said, things are changing. It’s a digital world. However, the principles of the Bible remains constant.

    Well done, sister Bisi.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      May 31, 2017 at 6:48 pm

      Your Church sounds like fun. Me I like gbeborun so I would totally be over any new couple so as to hear gist 😀.
      You see the percentage. If two out of four can meet on Facebook then social media can’t be left out as a valid linking factor in today’s world.

      Sure Amaka, ever constant. We can hold on to it for constancy in this bewildering ever changing world and we won’t go wrong.

  • Reply
    Mima
    May 30, 2017 at 9:08 am

    I understand the discrimination against meeting one’s significant other on social media basically because of the deceit and all that exists on the internet. Still, I’m open to meeting anyone anywhere, we are in a digital world like Amaka rightly stated, most people do everything with their phones. I mean nowadays, people spend like 80% of their time on the internet, so why can’t I make friends off there as well? You can meet someone in a church and the person would eventually turn out to be a demon or even worse. So yeah, where you meet doesn’t really matter (errr not really sha), who you two are and what you choose to make out of your relationship is what matters.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      June 2, 2017 at 5:40 pm

      Exactly, sometimes it seems the sad/horror stories of meeting via social media are more than the successful ones but it’s very possible that it seems so only because the good ones are keeping silent while the bad hookups shout it out to the rooftop.
      Sure, they world is now digital and that includes social media. Even before facebook I have connected to people via email,how much more now with tons of apps.
      My dear, that’s Church story is another matter. Some are just in Church to mark register I tell you.
      Yeah, where you meet matters until it doesn’t matter. 😂 I get your point . We just have to keep an open mind and not be too rigid. God can connect people through any channel.

  • Reply
    Dee
    May 30, 2017 at 9:27 am

    it’s still the traditional means for me (dreams, vision, trance, etc with confirmations in several ways )unless of course such person had been revealed earlier &a social medium being d first link.

    however, I see no issue in it for people who choose to as long as they’re good with their decision.
    **
    I typed a lenthier comment earlier bt it went off in d process of submission

    • Reply
      Bisola
      June 2, 2017 at 5:35 pm

      I am all for confirming and reconfirming when it comes to choosing a life partner no matter the channel. I like that you are open to the fact that social media could be the first link if God has already told you about him.
      Sorry about the deleted comment. That stuff can be annoying.

  • Reply
    D'Dream
    May 30, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    We are in the digital age where it seems every fibre of what transcribed as humanity is being digitalized.
    I don’t think there is anything wrong in meeting your future spouse or start a relationship from many of the social media platforms available.
    However it is ideal for you guys to meet in real time severally before taking anything serious. Isn’t proper for people that met online to start professing love and accepting same without face to face conversation.
    By the way I have seen a scenerio where a lady is very chatty online but quiet in real time. So I am for meeting online for relationship but wisdom should be applied. Don’t get carries away with all those glamorous, carefully crafted and digitalized version you saw online.
    the truth is however is to determine what you want exactly what you want in a relationship, that will help in weeding out the unnecessaries

    • Reply
      Bisola
      June 2, 2017 at 5:47 pm

      Lol at every fiber of humanity been digitalised. Sometimes it seems the world is moving pretty fast.
      Sure human and physical contact is key. No matter how much you click with another person in the air, the reverse can be the case when you meet.
      I agree about not professing love without even seeing physically. Some have accepted marriage proposals before even meeting. Who does that lol?
      I feel whether physical or in the air, the Holy Spirit leading is important to be able to discern properly. I should add that even in physical relationships, a person who wants to can hide and pretend so it’s not particularly to online relationships alone.
      Thanks Immanuel.

  • Reply
    Tamie
    June 2, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    I’m very okay with meeting people on social media. I have friends who have turn family from social media. I’ve made good friends from days of Hi5, 2go. It’s one thing to meet o me one and another to phyically meet and get to know the person.
    For relationships, it shouldn’t end online cos you can’t really know someone from their online persona (myself included). I have friends who met on 2go and fb and today are happily married with kids.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      June 5, 2017 at 1:58 pm

      Waoh at having friends who met on 2go and fb and are married. I know it happens but I am yet to hear anyone in my circle admit it not to talk of getting married.
      I am okay with meeting people online too and I agree that online personas can be deceptive.

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