Five funny things I learnt to do at Boarding house

Boarding house

My people! Let me tell you about some dodgy stuff I learnt at Fggc Akure. You know those stuff you learn unintentionally without actually meaning to? Yeah!  I learnt a couple of those in Boarding house.

Five funny things I learnt to do at Boarding house

1) To bathe and wash clothes with very little water.

Believe me, if you went to a school like mine where one old borehole had to serve over a thousand female students  (you know how we women like water) then you will understand how I came by this talent.

Is it still useful? Not right now. But if I somehow find myself with scarce water supply? Hmmmmm.

Boarding house

I can bath or wash with as little water as possible. Let me not tell you about something called rub and shine ?. Old things have passed away and all things…….

2) To eat weird stuff 

For instance, my idea of a snack can be Garri and milk . Dry and chewed like that. Or Milo and milk, called choco choco,  again dry, no water whatsoever, biscuit and butter or jam or honey.

Another is soaked noodles. When I say soaked, I mean literally soaked in water till it gets soft. Then you add the spice and eat. It tasted amazing and after I left the School, I still continued. I have stopped sha.

There was odd stuff like gaari cake. Exactly what it sounds like lol. Cake made with garri, milo and butter, sugar and some stuff I can’t remember.

Boarding house

A civilized way of making garri cake courtsey 9jafoodie

My friend (my cinema companion) and I talked about this and turns out her school FGGC  Kabba even had weirder stuff. There was something called “feshelu” which literally means “beat with your fists “.

Boarding house

Feshelu

Apparently they used candle and water to make Eba and beat it with their fists till it became edible. They then made soup from spices and oil ? ( yeah! Even I though that was weird). Her school also had bournvita cake, cabin cake and also Gaari cake.

Check out a bonafide recipe for garri cake, oven method Here and weird stuff boarders ate here courtesy of 9jafoodie.com a fellow Feddy girl herself.

3) Flush like a pro. 

Lol.  To flush the loo and everything goes away is a talent (If you have ever spent minutes on one piece that refuses to flush you will appreciate that talent ). This may be gross but don’t pretend you don’t poo ?.

Now I sort of waste water sha but in Boarding house you learn how to position your bucket and water in a very talented manner and with as little water as possible.

4) The art of food bargaining.

Beloved! It was in Boarding house that I learnt that food could be bargained.

Forget all those fibre, carbohydrate, protein talk. Boarding school taught me that rice was more valuable than Eba and that beans ( boarding house beans ) was virtually worthless. It rarely featured on the bargaining scale.

Now let me explain. Food served in Boarding house usually follows a strict roster which rarely gets changed. I mean we didn’t start eating jollof rice and bread and egg on Sundays until years later. Food in Boarding house is also notoriously tasteless. Watery beans, rice with stones, the stew in yam and stew should have been called water and Colour red instead ?.

This invariably meant that students exchanged food. If for some reason you were full, hated a particular food, or serving punishment, you exchanged your plate of rice for someone else’s plate of eba and okra. Rice was more valuable than Eba so make that half plate of rice for a plate of Eba.

We had the fish and meat lovers who wouldn’t mind exchanging half plate of their rice for your fish, or half of their Eba for your meat.  Bread was equivalent to one egg, yam was probably equal to a plate of Eba or half plate of rice.

5) Read very fast. 

Boarding house

If you are a regular blog visitor, then my love for books isn’t new to you. I didn’t get that from Boarding House. I got my love of reading from my father who always had books at home, my primary school which had a library and my introverted nature did the rest.

In boarding school there were tons of girls, book lovers like me waiting to take their turns too. If someone wanted to squeeze you in, you had to be able to read pretty fast. This talent has helped me read a lot more stuff that I would have otherwise read. Believe me when I say that’s a lot.

And till date, only few people can read a newspaper or anything with me. I read fast. It takes me seconds to skim the page, and few minutes to digest and tell you what is in there. I am that weird person that reads newspapers of people seated beside or in front of me in commercial vehicles and wishes they will turn the pages faster.

Of course the latter is the most useful of all of the above. Haha. I added it on purpose before y’all think all I learnt was how to flush poo. I kid. I kid ? . I learnt real life lessons but that is a story for another day.

You can read previous Boarding house posts

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12 Comments

  • Reply
    Dee
    April 7, 2017 at 10:25 am

    I learnt to rise early in the morning on my own at the boarding house.was used to mum waking us with flashlight.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      April 7, 2017 at 4:21 pm

      Ha! Funny enough years of waking up early in Boarding house didn’t neccesarily reflect in the real world after I left school .
      While I was there, I had no problem waking up early.
      Now, I really really don’t like waking up early. Maybe because I usually have a headache afterwards as a result of sleeping late and not getting enough sleep, I don’t know. But automatic early riser, that I am not ?.

  • Reply
    Dee
    April 7, 2017 at 7:33 pm

    mine depends also on d no of hours I’ve slept bt the Holy spirit is ever faithful to wake me if need be, no matter how short d rest is.

  • Reply
    Tamie
    April 8, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Hey Feddy gurl #ProUnitate.
    Some funny lessons you got here.

    I attended a Feddy school too but I wasn’t a boarder. I spent some time however after school hours with my friends in their dorms.
    Our school also had their weird food combo, popular was Ebange (eba and geisha) and Ebansar(eba and sardine) .. I spelt as pronounced.

    When I was got into the uni for a predegree course, I had to stay in the hostel. I initially thought I wouldn’t cope well as I had no boarding history. But funnily I guess I over coped cos all my roommates thought I had boarding experience the way I scaled my up bunk and fell into other hostel routine.

    • Reply
      Bisola
      April 9, 2017 at 5:30 pm

      Hiya! Waves right back. I knew there was a reason I liked you. #ProUnitate.
      All ye day students. You were on another level, getting to go home and eat better food. Enjoyment galore.
      Ebange indeed. Apparently, my school was a learner when it comes to Eba.
      Ha. Uni Hostel .Funny enough ! I got one too in my first year but I never slept a night there. I stayed with my uncle and got accommodation in town later. But during my masters in Unilag, I had a bit of it in my friends room. They were just two in a room, my stays were occasional since I live in ibadan. I only came in once a week, slept for a day or two, and went back.
      Lol at scaled up bunk. That is another special talent ?.
      Plus two people able to sleep on a tiny mattress comfortably and also bathing in the open without Shame.

      • Reply
        Tamie
        April 10, 2017 at 12:12 pm

        Hahahaha

        Yeah, scaling up bunk was a real talent. Bathing outside and all that. You sure know every.

        • Reply
          Bisola
          April 11, 2017 at 3:32 pm

          ?. How can I forget bathing outside. Sometimes in the freezing cold.

  • Reply
    FTJ
    April 10, 2017 at 8:56 pm

    aaaah! Nostalgia.
    I can relate to all you mentioned + waking early, eating and drinking all sorts; as in all sorts, managing space, living without TV, enjoying room temperature drinks and ‘cold’ food…aaaah
    I read stuff over people’s shoulders and mange to curb my impatience before the page is turned ?

    • Reply
      Bisola
      April 11, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      Lol. Boarding house is so much fun in retrospect.
      Eating all sorts indeed. One time we were so hungry we picked unripe oranges in trees. I don’t know why we thought it would assuage our hunger.
      Ha! Room temperature everything. It’s a wonder things didn’t spoil quickly.
      My fellow reader. I see you.

  • Reply
    What's your take on plants and herbs for medicinal purposes?ย  - SisterBisi
    April 13, 2017 at 7:39 am

    [โ€ฆ] Five funny things I learnt to do at Boarding house [โ€ฆ]

  • Reply
    Olaitan
    April 18, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Hahaha. Don’t I just love you? ????. I can relate mehn! My school wasn’t federal but we had all these happening. I only did food exchange once in a while. I kind of used to give it out. It even went beyond food oh. Some people actually did a bottle of perfume for food and all sorts. I read pretty fast too! I don’t think I learnt that from school tho. Choco bombom and the rumours that it causes cancer. Hahaha. School was funnn! Love this post
    http://Www.laitanbee.com

    • Reply
      Bisola
      April 19, 2017 at 5:54 pm

      Love you too dear.
      Yeah! Most boarding houses in Nigeria and Africa have similar characteristics.
      Lol at perfume. My school stopped at food oh. And sure!
      He! So you had the cancer rumour too. Ours was soaked noodles and the spices. Didn’t stop us though.
      Yeah! For me it was more fun in retrospect. Thanks dear.

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