My people! Let me tell you about some dodgy stuff I learnt at Fggc Akure. You know those stuff you learn unintentionally without actually meaning to? Yeah! I learnt a couple of those in Boarding house.
Five funny things I learnt to do at Boarding house
1) To bathe and wash clothes with very little water.
Believe me, if you went to a school like mine where one old borehole had to serve over a thousand female students (you know how we women like water) then you will understand how I came by this talent.
Is it still useful? Not right now. But if I somehow find myself with scarce water supply? Hmmmmm.
I can bath or wash with as little water as possible. Let me not tell you about something called rub and shine ?. Old things have passed away and all things…….
2) To eat weird stuff
For instance, my idea of a snack can be Garri and milk . Dry and chewed like that. Or Milo and milk, called choco choco, again dry, no water whatsoever, biscuit and butter or jam or honey.
Another is soaked noodles. When I say soaked, I mean literally soaked in water till it gets soft. Then you add the spice and eat. It tasted amazing and after I left the School, I still continued. I have stopped sha.
There was odd stuff like gaari cake. Exactly what it sounds like lol. Cake made with garri, milo and butter, sugar and some stuff I can’t remember.
My friend (my cinema companion) and I talked about this and turns out her school FGGC Kabba even had weirder stuff. There was something called “feshelu” which literally means “beat with your fists “.
Apparently they used candle and water to make Eba and beat it with their fists till it became edible. They then made soup from spices and oil ? ( yeah! Even I though that was weird). Her school also had bournvita cake, cabin cake and also Gaari cake.
3) Flush like a pro.
Lol. To flush the loo and everything goes away is a talent (If you have ever spent minutes on one piece that refuses to flush you will appreciate that talent ). This may be gross but don’t pretend you don’t poo ?.
Now I sort of waste water sha but in Boarding house you learn how to position your bucket and water in a very talented manner and with as little water as possible.
4) The art of food bargaining.
Beloved! It was in Boarding house that I learnt that food could be bargained.
Forget all those fibre, carbohydrate, protein talk. Boarding school taught me that rice was more valuable than Eba and that beans ( boarding house beans ) was virtually worthless. It rarely featured on the bargaining scale.
Now let me explain. Food served in Boarding house usually follows a strict roster which rarely gets changed. I mean we didn’t start eating jollof rice and bread and egg on Sundays until years later. Food in Boarding house is also notoriously tasteless. Watery beans, rice with stones, the stew in yam and stew should have been called water and Colour red instead ?.
This invariably meant that students exchanged food. If for some reason you were full, hated a particular food, or serving punishment, you exchanged your plate of rice for someone else’s plate of eba and okra. Rice was more valuable than Eba so make that half plate of rice for a plate of Eba.
We had the fish and meat lovers who wouldn’t mind exchanging half plate of their rice for your fish, or half of their Eba for your meat. Bread was equivalent to one egg, yam was probably equal to a plate of Eba or half plate of rice.
5) Read very fast.
If you are a regular blog visitor, then my love for books isn’t new to you. I didn’t get that from Boarding House. I got my love of reading from my father who always had books at home, my primary school which had a library and my introverted nature did the rest.
In boarding school there were tons of girls, book lovers like me waiting to take their turns too. If someone wanted to squeeze you in, you had to be able to read pretty fast. This talent has helped me read a lot more stuff that I would have otherwise read. Believe me when I say that’s a lot.
And till date, only few people can read a newspaper or anything with me. I read fast. It takes me seconds to skim the page, and few minutes to digest and tell you what is in there. I am that weird person that reads newspapers of people seated beside or in front of me in commercial vehicles and wishes they will turn the pages faster.
Of course the latter is the most useful of all of the above. Haha. I added it on purpose before y’all think all I learnt was how to flush poo. I kid. I kid ? . I learnt real life lessons but that is a story for another day.
You can read previous Boarding house posts