As Christians or even as individuals we have people we admire and look up to. At least I know I do. And quite a lot of them.
People who seem to have it all together, focused and disciplined, seemingly committed people who are good at what they do , and they can do no wrong in our eyes.
We love them and secretly wish to be like them, and we regularly tout them as ideal models.
They could be pastors, motivational speakers, leaders in the church, group coordinators etc.
But what happens when they disappoint us and we are forced to realise they are only human like us.
For instance , suddenly, you read about or heard of them messing up in a big way. You may even have encountered it personally. And it broke your heart.
Probably it turned out that the revered Pastor Z has been sleeping with a married member of the church, or was indicted for dipping his hands in church funds indiscriminately and without permission.
It could even be more sordid, that pastor’s wife you love so much may have tried to seduce someone you know or even you yourself.
That priest may have abused you sexually or attempted to, or you pass by a brothel and see your prayer warrior leader flirting amorously with a woman. And I tell you, the feeling can be like a dart right in the heart. At that point you struggle with disbelief, then anger and disappointment.
Here is how to deal with any shock, disappointment, fear ( it’s possible you start feeling afraid and thinking ” if he or she could fall” then what hope did the rest of us have ” or any other emotion.
HOW TO COPE WITH OR HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT BY A SPIRITUAL MENTOR
1)REALISE THAT THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS
This is the first step. You have to realise that they are human, therefore imperfect. They are liable fall into temptation just like any other person. They have their weak points.
It is dangerous to have high expectations of any human who has flesh and blood flowing in his or her veins. They are not God, they aren’t perfect. Simply put, they can mess up anytime.
Now is not the time to judge, condemn or feel morally superior.
Put your hope and trust in God instead. He is the only one that can NEVER fail.
2) LET GO OF YOUR ANGER AND DISAPPOINTMENT
“It’s normal to be shocked, angry, and disappointed when someone you put on a high pedestal falls from such a pedestal. “
Especially if you looked up to such a person and had a connection to that person. Many of us have preachers and writers, even bloggers who we have never met, but we know everything about them and they have impacted us so much.
As I said in number one, they aren’t God, so they cannot be perfect irrespective of the gifts or anointing they have.
It is especially important to forgive them and let go of whatever feelings of resentment and distrust their act may have inspired in you. If God has forgiven them ( assuming that they asked for it) who are you to hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness.
4) SHOW THEM LOVE
It is human nature to want to castigate, mock, gossip and ridicule such esteemed mentors or leaders when they fall. Try and rise above all that.
Do not avoid them or castigate them openly. Now is the time to show that Christian charity you have always heard about. If you have the opportunity, talk with them and show them love.
(If it’s a criminal offense, pls report them to the authorities 0r church disciplinary committee ).
5) PRAY FOR THEM
Believe me when I say that they need your prayers now more than ever. For them to have messed up, irrespective of what they may have done to you or anyone else, it shows that something is wrong , and you have to pray for them that they find their way back to God.
6) BUILD YOUR FAITH
Finally, Build your faith so that you don’t lose it.
A lot of people have lost their faith and left the church because they just could not fathom how such a thing could happen, how a supposed man of God or leader person could do such a thing, or why God could allow it. It is not uncommon to think that if “so so and so person could fail, then what chance do I have “.
Beloved, now is the time to dig deep into the Word of God for faith and reassurance, now is the time to talk to God about your feelings, now is the time to remember the depth of God’s love for you.
If you are overwhelmed , please find a good non judgemental Christian or counsellor to talk to about your feelings.
Lets talk. Have you ever experienced something similar? How did you handle it? What do you have to say about the post?
Let us know in the comment section, and don’t forget to share.
You can follow me on Twitter @ sisterbisi.
If you need to talk to someone, feel free to send me an email.
Thank you for reading.